YEAH, I'M ACTUALLY WEIGHING IN ON TIGER WOODS

I know I have no business commenting on anything sports related.  I'm athletic, but not a sports fan. I don't follow nor have any insight into amateur or professional sports.  The only golf I've ever played involved navigating a brightly-colored ball around a windmill and a dancing giraffe.  And is golf really a sport?  In my opinion, it ain't a game unless you break a sweat.  And now that John Daly's dropped 100 pounds,  there's ne'er a drop of perspiration on the PGA tour.

Except for Tiger.  He's sweating.  Sweating badly.  I guess for some reason he thought he was above reproach and could peck and strut in plain sight without any backlash.  Interesting, and very karmic, that it was ultimately his own simple accident that blew the lid off the overstuffed bottle of cheat.  Clearly his behavior had reached a breaking point and all it needed was a crack in the beam.  And boy, did the bottom drop out.  For those of us who were completely in the dark, all the allegations seem almost unbelievable. Really?  Little Tiger Woods is a pimp?  Holy shit.  

Here's the thing.  Tiger deserves to be bitch-slapped, but not for cheating on his wife, for being stupid.  Let's get real, the only crime Tiger is guilty of is arrogance.  I'm not condoning adultery.  I'm a happily married man who has never cheated on my wife.  Not only because I love and respect her, but because I know if I was ever caught (and I would get caught... I'm a lousy liar) the damage to my family would be irreparable.  

But Tiger is not like me.  Tiger is not like any of you reading this.  Tiger is a billionaire who single-handedly revived the game of golf.  He's a sheik, sports royalty.  Look at the information that has come out about his prenuptials.  I know most prenups are dry, legal lines-in-the-sand, but Tiger and Elin's was not just about money, it was about obligation, timing, expectations, media exposure.  It was as much a talent contract as it was a nuptial document.  I'm sorry, and maybe this makes me a sexist, but women (or men)  who enter into these agreements are very aware of the parameters and rules.  I'm not saying there isn't some genuine feelings between Mr. and Mrs. Woods, clearly there must be.  But ultimately their union is a fucking legal contract.  Tiger breached the contract not because he was unfaithful, but because he was sloppy.  Porn stars, socialites, party whores -- Jesus Christ, Tiger, you'd think your buddies in the NBA would have given you better advice than that.  

But that's where the chastisement should end.  He fucked up, got caught, embarrassed his family -- he broke the deal.  That's why the contract was quickly amended and updated.  And he paid the penalty fees.  Deep, bloody penalty fees.  But this talk of Tiger being a fake and a fraud.  Really?  I don't know about you, but I never saw Tiger do a commercial for family values.  In fact, I find the guy incredibly distant and aloof.  It made perfect sense that he married a Scandinavian.  I have Norwegian relatives who can go months without smiling.  Oh, wait, that's me.  The point is, I never put Tiger up on any kind of moral pedestal.  He endorses golf shit.  Wasn't he just a role model to fat white guys?  Was he really a role model to kids?  Do kids really wanna grow up to be professional golfers?  If so, maybe seeing one go all super pimp might just be the kick in the ass they need to realize they should pursue a real sport.  Just saying...

And I'll finish with this sand trap (not even sure if that analogy makes sense), I think the reaction to Tiger is racist.  They are not giving him the benefit of the doubt they would give other superior athletes.  We were all shocked when Kobe got accused of rape a few years back, but somehow, because it was basketball - a sport dominated by African American men, that behavior was somehow less shocking or expected.  Especially if you read Wilt's autobiography.  Kobe apologized, bought his wife a thirty-pound diamond and we chalked it off to superstar behavior.  Kobe's endorsements barely sputtered and  soon it was all forgotten.  But golf is a white man's game.  A member's only club, run by old white money and too much gin.  Yes, it took a Black-Asian to reinvigorate the sport, but the PGA was willing to look past that cruel irony as long as pockets were getting lined.  And here's the real irony -- half the red-nosed putters in every exclusive fucking club in this country are diddling their secretaries, but heaven forbid it ever become public knowledge.  That would be wrong.  The PGA, as much as they need him, will demand assurances that their poster boy never stray from the straight white line again.  

Unfortunately Tiger isn't helping his cause any.  The only way to ward off the damage is to face it head on (Letterman).  But Tiger's shame, his painful introversion and the ghost of his father's disappointment has caused him to retreat.  He's not admitted anything, there's been no real contrition and now he's removed himself from the game.  His absence will just fuel the gossip fire.  I'm sure he'll come back, but unlike Kobe, I think the damage to his career, family and game will be irreparable.  

Man, I'm glad I hate golf.

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CLOSING A DEAL, OPENING A DOOR

People read my blog because I often react before I think, resulting in unfiltered opinions about the business of show.  Most of those outbursts are perceived (and sometimes imaginary) injustices levied against me or others.  So I thought it only fair, and perhaps a bit out of character, to offer some praise for a change.

Fame and popularity often trigger fear and greed.  The trades are riddled with stories of creatives on hit shows or successful movies battling for more respect and coin.  Someone trying to out maneuver and out play their peers, bosses or rivals.  It's ugly shit that usually boils down to "my dick is bigger than yours".  Showrunners are no exception.  Forgive the sexist slant on this analogy, but writers historically are treated as if they have the smallest penises in town.  We are constantly seeking out means by which to grow our junk.  And what makes our dicks big and hard?  Yeah, money.  I know that sounds base and shallow, but it's true.  Money is the equalizer.  It's the only measure of respect that means anything in Hollywood.  And I know this will sound like bullshit, but it's not about the material payoff, it's about being valued.  We need to be acknowledged as an important part of the creative process.  We create the world that production builds, we tell the story that the director shoots, we hear the words that the actor says.   

A couple of months ago, I got wind that 20th (the mother ship of Fox 21 our co-studio) had no interest in investing in my future.  In other words, they were not going to offer me a sweet overall deal because they saw no long-term value in SutterInk.  And honestly, can you blame them?  I've been very outspoken about how I could never be dropped into someone else's playground and share the ball.  So an overall that allows them to place me on any show, didn't make sense.  And after a couple hostile work environment claims and the whole D-girl debacle, c'mon, I'm lucky Rupe didn't put a hit out on me.  So, needless to say I was expecting a very contentious deal making scenario.  

That didn't happen.  FX Networks and FX Productions (the other co-studio) stepped up to the plate and without disclosing details, began negotiations in a spirit of trust and respect.  Below is part of the email I sent to Landgraf and his executives.  It pretty much sums up my feelings -- 

i want to officially document my thanks and gratitude for the unprecedented way you have conducted yourselves in this negotiating process... it’s one thing to say that you’re a network that supports and nourishes artists but it’s another to back that up with the only true measure of respect creatives have in this town -- cash.  ... the fair and generous deal you’ve made with me fuels my continuing dedication to soa and FX.  your actions speak volumes to your trust in me and that goes a very long way.

I don't know anything about their strategy or their deals with anyone else, but with me and Sons of Anarchy, FX has shown their trust, loyalty and support in my talent.  I thank them and I look forward to season three and beyond.