INCEST, MURDER, DOUBLE PENETRATION, CATS FUCKING DOGS, UNICORNS, RAINBOWS, BLUE-EYED BABIES, TRANSSEXUAL INDISCRETIONS AND THE HOLE IN THE EASTER BUNNY'S BASKET

I enjoy blogging.  

It was an experiment I began in October of 2007 when FX picked up my show.  If I had a gripe, a revelation, some info about the show, I shared it with my seven readers.  I've been keeping current with SutterInk blog for almost three years.  Since then, my readers grew in numbers and so did the scope of my subject matter.  In that time, I've never apologized or rarely even questioned the content of my posts.  

Until recently.  

Since September of 2009, I've found that I've had to qualify, defend, explain and even edit many of my entries.  As I stated in my last post, I feel like perhaps my outspokenness is biting back.  So what the fuck happened?

A few things.  

Sons of Anarchy became a hit.  The show grew in notoriety and therefore everyone associated with it became more newsworthy.  And with the popularity of Lost's, team Darlton, the role of the showrunner moved out front.  Writers were becoming celebrities.  I admit, I embraced that love.  Suddenly, the attention I so desperately craved was at my fingertips -- literally.

Truth is, the bulk of my blogging is about my process as an artist and intel about the show.  The angry rants, although they get more attention, are not the core of my online sharing.  When I look at my recent posts, the ones I've had to qualify (Zito, the Emmy's, how the rags are spinning me), all of them were perfect examples of how I blog.  Pretty much an unedited, instantaneous, stream of consciousness.  This is my experience, this is my truth, this is how I feel.  So if these posts were no different than the others, why did they bite me in the ass?  Why did I double back and question their validity?  In other words, why did they make me feel so bad? 

What I've realized over the past few days of obsessive reflection is this -- I'm not on the outside looking in.  I'm not a professional blogger, journalist or critic observing the process from an objective distance.
  
I'm inside it, I'm part of it, I am wholly subjective.  

Everything I say about television or Hollywood or an actor or a show or a network is connected to my relationships in that arena.  So it doesn't matter if the LA Times or TV Guide or THZ puts a spin on a post.  If I'm commenting about showbiz, it's not from Kurt, the man, it's from Sutter, the writer/producer.  I have to own those words and every direction they may fly.  I have no right to judge others for their "interpretation".  If I have free speech, everyone has free speech.  

The reason I am feeling undone about some of my posts lately is because the blowback is effecting more than me.    

I've had strong reactions to perceived slights against Sons of Anarchy.  The problem is that because I am now a public person, my opinions of those incidents are not independent of the show.  When I speak out about anything to do with SOA, I am speaking as its showrunner.  Therefore I expose everyone associated with my show to the fallout of my re/actions.  It's never, Kurt Sutter Calls TV Academy Lazy Sheep.  It's Sons of Anarchy Creator Calls TV Academy Lazy Sheep.  

Not that anyone is going to hold a personal grudge against my cast or crew because they're pissed off at me, but they can hurt them indirectly by taking it out on the show.  For example, their are a few critics out there whom I've lambasted because of their scathing reviews.  I'm not saying that every review deserves to be positive, but since my retaliation, one critic in particular has gone out of her way to humiliate members of my cast in her reviews.  I'm pretty certain if I hadn't antagonized that relationship, the critiques would be a bit less personal.

But, I ain't gonna stop blogging.  I need it.

I look at my desk and see a Macbook, a shotgun and a bible.  I've got very few friends and so much shit I've gotta work out.  My words are my give and my take.  This blog is selfish expression as well as a cosmic contribution.  I need my virtual family to share that process.  The key for me is to distance my strong opinions (rants) from the specific work in progress.  For now, that would be Sons.  I can go off about Zucker and NBC because the only one who gets hurt there is me.  But if I piss off the TV Academy with a a thinly-veiled fuck you, there's a possibility I hurt my show (and everyone involved)'s chances for recognition.  

Note to self: 

If I fire the shotgun, I better be ready to take some retaliatory buckshot in the ass.  I just need to make sure that I'm the only ass in the line of fire.  

Thanks for reading.  

I don't know you, that's why I like you.

And if I do know you and I don't like you... that's not gonna change -- 

So, go fuck yourself and the small-minded, parasitic whores you rode in on.

Oh, I lifted the title from some spam I received yesterday.  Somehow, it just seemed right...

 

AND THAT WAS MY KINDER GENTLER POST

So my response to the Emmy's has somehow been spun into an angry rant.  I don't know, maybe it was.  But you should have seen the one I deleted.  Anyway, for those of you who only read the snippets pirated by some of the showbiz-rag-blogs, I want to assure you that no disrespect was pointed at any of the nominees.  As I have said many times in this blog, I am a huge Glee and Madmen fan.  I was one of the flock who voted for them.  And I regret my frustrated comment about Mariska.  She is a fine actress on a very popular show.  It was just hard to contain my frustration about Katey.  She's my wife and best friend and I was pissed and hurt that she was overlooked.

The bigger issue is this -- I've realized that I've carved out an unintentional niche for myself.  I'm the hot-headed, irrational, arrogant showrunner.  I'm becoming to the blogosphere what Sean Penn was to photographers in the 80's.  Provoke, stand back and watch the fireworks.  As we all know, bloggers earn their coin by gathering "hits" at their sites, and like the tabloids, the more sensational the headline, the more money they make.   

It's clear that my instantaneous and forthright approach to blogging is being spit back in my face.  I guess it's the blessing and curse of notoriety.  This mea culpa will probably be spun into something ugly as well.  I'm not certain what the solution is or how I'm going to navigate around this problem.  I don't give a shit who/how many people read my blog.  It's not a pay site, I have no ads, I make no money.  It's always been just a creative outlet and a tool to keep fans informed about my show.  I'd probably be better off pulling the plug before I get myself into deeper shit.  It seems I've already alienated a chunk of Hollywood... or at least the members of the Television Academy.

I won't be taking any comments to this post.  I'm not looking for attaboys or suggestions.  I'm gonna pull back, reassess and figure out the right thing to do... for a change. 

WE DON'T LIKE YOUR KIND

Let's face it, kids, we are the dirty-faced outlaws who no one wants in their clean white town.  We are too loud, too violent, too brash.  We don't sing, have pretty sets, or wear retro suits.  They admire us from afar, wish they could do what we do, then they pull the shades and settle for the familiar and safe.  They are lazy sheep.

Thanks for the kind words and all your support, Katey and I appreciate your venom.  But know this, I thrive on living outside the love circle.  I've been here for ten years now.  It fuels my bitterness, my over-inflated sense of self-righteousness and it makes me a more relevant artist. 

It's too easy and lazy to be angry (Mariska Hargitay are you fucking kidding me? ).  So today, I choose gratitude.  I am enormously proud of everyone associated with Sons of Anarchy and truly excited about the stories we get to tell.  Yes, accolades are wonderful, (and if we were nominated I'd be calling the Academy geniuses) but at the end of the day, I'm simply grateful that I get paid a lot of money to do something I love.  And so, I go back to work, on the wrong side of the tracks.  Ride safe.