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Sunday, November 25, 2007

ME, A MODERATE? NO FUCKING WAY. REALLY??

Last week at the Shield Wrap Party, someone who read some of my blogs was quite surprised by my opinions. She said that she never would have thought of me as a "moderate". At first, I thought she was fucking with me, then I realized she was serious. I laughed nervously, nodded my head at an imaginary person-of-interest and slipped into the crowd. When I cleared her, I looked around to make sure no one else had heard her. Moderate? This kind of blaspheme could ruin my reputation. I’m the guy who slams doors louder than anyone in Hollywood. I’m the guy who terrifies assistants by hurling improperly dressed salads at the wall. I’m the guy who ... I'm fucking Margos, goddammit -- I am nothing, if not an extremist. I can see how one could categorize my strike opines as being centrist -- calling for both sides to put down the sword and pick up the pen. But my intent was not to incite moderation, it was and is, to incite action. When we are blinded by the extreme, our view gets very limited. In this case, the extreme being the WGA's cry for Big Media's head on a stake. We can't hear the voice of reason over the saber rattling (a moderate would never use this many war clich├ęs). As much as I relish the idea of a shoot-first-ask-questions-never reputation, the irony is that I'm a guy who seeks and craves moderation. As much as I want to be loved, honored and adored, I’m a guy who seeks and needs humility. I know I’m wired for extreme reactions. I see things a little brighter, hear things a little louder, feel things a little deeper. Not bragging, those are just the facts. I have a Belushi-esque appetite for most things -- spiritual and carnal. As my wife says, "My big energy can fill up a room." I've spent the last 14 years curbing that bigness and searching for moderation. It’s a daily challenge. Some days I’m the Buddha, some days I’m the bear. Perhaps I should be grateful that some of my moderation is bleeding through and actually having an impact. Hell, before long, people may actually want to have lunch with me.

1 comment:

Lizz Andolini said...

Hello Mr Sutter,

I guess I should say "Hi Kurt" like almost everybody does here but I can't because I do'nt know you personnaly and I have too much respect... This is probably typically french but hey, I am french, so...!

I've discovered your blog recently as well as your Twitter account (I, who always rejected that twitter thing for various reasons, finally created an account there just because of you !) and your YouTube channel...

I am totally addicted to SOA even if here, in France, season 3 is only started on friday (september 16). I'm really looking forward to see it !

I really appreciate how much you share with your fans. This is pretty rare !

As I was saying, I discovered this blog recently (like one or 2 weeks ago) and today I decided to start reading it from the beginning. Which means I have like 4 years of reading ahead of me. That's pretty a lot to me, especially in english...! But I love your writting, I love the way you speak your mind and heart so sincerely and frankly ! I like that kinf of personnality, too rare in my opinion...

About this blog post, I wanted to say that it made me smile because I have the same kind of problem. There is a big gap between how people see me and how I truly am deep inside. Most people think I'm "mean", aggressive even haughty at times, which I'm not (well, I can be at times...). I know I am anything but mean, I'm not aggressive either (I only am when people really get on my nerves). In fact I'm mainly misunderstood and yearning for peace and tranquility... Maybe I "look" like this because I'm trying to protect myself from others, I'm not sure. This gap is a really strange thing I cannot explain...


PS : I assume I made quite a lot of mistakes above but I hope my message is comprehensible.