MY FAVORITE TV OF 2009 (UPDATE 2)

UPDATE 2.

Everyone keeps mentioning some great shows -- Dexter, Breaking Bad, 24, Generation Kill, etc. I've watched episodes from all these shows and think they are great. But I don't return for more. In some cases, I'm too far behind the story and will have to catch up on DVDs. In other cases, I think they are too similar in tone to Sons. Watching them is a little too much like going to work. You can tell by the things on my list that I use TV like most of you do -- to escape.

UPDATE 1.

I forgot to check the DVR in the bedroom. There were several guilty pleasures I watch with my wife. The additions are *** below.

It's not a"top ten" list, it's not the "best of" list, it's just the shit that I enjoyed watching this year. I don't watch a lot of television. I try to sample the new shows on both network and cable. That sampling very rarely leads to a desire to watch again. So these are the things that ended up on my DVR this year (SOA not included). No particular order, no compelling reason.

HOUSE HUNTERS INTERNATIONAL

Katey and I watch it religiously. It's our escape fantasy. We dream of quitting everything, liquidating our assets, putting the kids in boarding school and moving to the south of France, northern Italy or a Greek Island.

ROBOT CHICKEN

Irreverent, ridiculous and fucking funny. It's fifteen minutes of juvenile escapism.

THE DAILY SHOW

Jon Stewart is my only news source. If it wasn't for him, I'd have no idea what's going on in the world.

NURSE JACKIE

Took me a few episodes to embrace the adulterous junkie caregiver with the heart of gold, but by the end, I was wanting more. Edie Falco is a writer's dream -- she turns a six on the page into a ten on screen.

*GLEE

Katey started watching. Got my daughter, Sarah hooked. I begrudgingly watched an episode with them. Shaking my head in a manly, "C'mon" manner the whole show. Then, when Katey was out of town, I watched every episode. I laughed, I cried, I sang, I danced.

ENTOURAGE

Some critics hate it, but I still love hanging out with these guys. It ain't brilliant, but it's entertaining and addictive.

HUNG

Episodes were uneven, but the overall narrative arc and the acting were very compelling. And yes, an average Joe with a huge penis that every woman wants to fuck... and then pays him, does appeal to my ego-righteous sense of "I could do that... if my penis was four inches longer and I was good looking."

FAMILY GUY

Nothing else in the world makes me laugh more. Nothing.

KIDDIE SHOWS

My three-year old only watches television with her daddy. Twenty minutes in the morning, twenty minutes before bed. These are her favorites in order of dvr requests:

Mio Mao

Bonnie Bear

Musti

Sesame Street

Sponge Bob

LOST

The only network drama I watch. Not just because my wife is on it. Damon and Carlton have me on a string. It's appointment television for the whole family.

IMPORTANT THINGS WITH DEMETRI MARTIN

Love this guy's stand-up. The show is still finding its way, but I watched every episode. And laughed.

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM

I thought I'd be tired of Larry by now, but he still makes me fucking cringe with laughter. Some of the episodes felt derivative, like spec scripts of the show, but there were several shows this season that rivaled the first year in their ingenuity and irreverence. The Seinfeld arc was classic Larry.

TRUE BLOOD

Sexy, intriguing, totally over the fucking top. I'm in, Alan. Can't wait for next season.

MAD MEN

I had to force myself to watch the first half of the season. I was having a hard time relating or caring about ANYBODY. (spoiler ahead) After the grandfather died, I finally started plugging in. The finale was awesome. Looking forward to seeing Don Draper with a sense of purpose next season.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE

I watch it for Andy Samburg's Digital Shorts and anything with Kristen Wiig and Kenan Thompson.

SAM CROW MEN OF GINGER

My Christmas gift from the beautiful and kind Winter Ave Zoli (Lyla). Happy Holidays.

NOT SO GOLDEN GLOBES

Now that my angry tweets are all over the net and I continue to bolster my reputation as the most dangerous showrunner in Hollywood, I figured I'd briefly weigh in.

I was actually in a pretty Zen place about the Globes.  I knew from our press guy that we were off the radar and weren't gonna win.  Basically Fox couldn't afford to buy us an award too.  I was cool.  But when I woke up and I saw who/what actually got nominated, I just got really pissed.  Actually, not pissed, insulted.  I think all those years of being ignored on The Shield is having a cumulative effect.  I get it, the Globes are a sham (Nikke Finke breaks it down best), but they are still a valuable marketing tool and as shallow as it sounds, those golden statues boost an artist's ego.  So when I saw actors like Courtney Cox getting nominated for fucking Cougar Town and Kyra Sedgewick for The Closer (both talented actors but the performances in these vehicles are just not award worthy), I snapped.  Look, I know she's my wife and I know there in no way in hell I can be objective, but Katey's performance not being recognized is a little offensive, no? 

For the record, I called the Foreign Press old, tired and lazy.  That was a heated opinion based on very little research, any resemblance between my appraisals and persons living or dead, although intentional, is purely coincidental.

I'm trying to stay hopeful about the Emmys, but I know Sons is riding a very dark horse in that race also.  I broke all that down last year in this blog.  The support from the fans on my blog, Twitter and FB has been great.  I know at the end of the day, the gold statues don't mean shit.  And I wish I could just sit back, be humble and shut my fucking mouth (and trust me, there's a long list of people wishing the same thing), but alas, I make no promises.  For today, I am content with having the best job in Hollywood, rabidly loyal viewers and the praise of a few good critics.

YEAH, I'M ACTUALLY WEIGHING IN ON TIGER WOODS

I know I have no business commenting on anything sports related.  I'm athletic, but not a sports fan. I don't follow nor have any insight into amateur or professional sports.  The only golf I've ever played involved navigating a brightly-colored ball around a windmill and a dancing giraffe.  And is golf really a sport?  In my opinion, it ain't a game unless you break a sweat.  And now that John Daly's dropped 100 pounds,  there's ne'er a drop of perspiration on the PGA tour.

Except for Tiger.  He's sweating.  Sweating badly.  I guess for some reason he thought he was above reproach and could peck and strut in plain sight without any backlash.  Interesting, and very karmic, that it was ultimately his own simple accident that blew the lid off the overstuffed bottle of cheat.  Clearly his behavior had reached a breaking point and all it needed was a crack in the beam.  And boy, did the bottom drop out.  For those of us who were completely in the dark, all the allegations seem almost unbelievable. Really?  Little Tiger Woods is a pimp?  Holy shit.  

Here's the thing.  Tiger deserves to be bitch-slapped, but not for cheating on his wife, for being stupid.  Let's get real, the only crime Tiger is guilty of is arrogance.  I'm not condoning adultery.  I'm a happily married man who has never cheated on my wife.  Not only because I love and respect her, but because I know if I was ever caught (and I would get caught... I'm a lousy liar) the damage to my family would be irreparable.  

But Tiger is not like me.  Tiger is not like any of you reading this.  Tiger is a billionaire who single-handedly revived the game of golf.  He's a sheik, sports royalty.  Look at the information that has come out about his prenuptials.  I know most prenups are dry, legal lines-in-the-sand, but Tiger and Elin's was not just about money, it was about obligation, timing, expectations, media exposure.  It was as much a talent contract as it was a nuptial document.  I'm sorry, and maybe this makes me a sexist, but women (or men)  who enter into these agreements are very aware of the parameters and rules.  I'm not saying there isn't some genuine feelings between Mr. and Mrs. Woods, clearly there must be.  But ultimately their union is a fucking legal contract.  Tiger breached the contract not because he was unfaithful, but because he was sloppy.  Porn stars, socialites, party whores -- Jesus Christ, Tiger, you'd think your buddies in the NBA would have given you better advice than that.  

But that's where the chastisement should end.  He fucked up, got caught, embarrassed his family -- he broke the deal.  That's why the contract was quickly amended and updated.  And he paid the penalty fees.  Deep, bloody penalty fees.  But this talk of Tiger being a fake and a fraud.  Really?  I don't know about you, but I never saw Tiger do a commercial for family values.  In fact, I find the guy incredibly distant and aloof.  It made perfect sense that he married a Scandinavian.  I have Norwegian relatives who can go months without smiling.  Oh, wait, that's me.  The point is, I never put Tiger up on any kind of moral pedestal.  He endorses golf shit.  Wasn't he just a role model to fat white guys?  Was he really a role model to kids?  Do kids really wanna grow up to be professional golfers?  If so, maybe seeing one go all super pimp might just be the kick in the ass they need to realize they should pursue a real sport.  Just saying...

And I'll finish with this sand trap (not even sure if that analogy makes sense), I think the reaction to Tiger is racist.  They are not giving him the benefit of the doubt they would give other superior athletes.  We were all shocked when Kobe got accused of rape a few years back, but somehow, because it was basketball - a sport dominated by African American men, that behavior was somehow less shocking or expected.  Especially if you read Wilt's autobiography.  Kobe apologized, bought his wife a thirty-pound diamond and we chalked it off to superstar behavior.  Kobe's endorsements barely sputtered and  soon it was all forgotten.  But golf is a white man's game.  A member's only club, run by old white money and too much gin.  Yes, it took a Black-Asian to reinvigorate the sport, but the PGA was willing to look past that cruel irony as long as pockets were getting lined.  And here's the real irony -- half the red-nosed putters in every exclusive fucking club in this country are diddling their secretaries, but heaven forbid it ever become public knowledge.  That would be wrong.  The PGA, as much as they need him, will demand assurances that their poster boy never stray from the straight white line again.  

Unfortunately Tiger isn't helping his cause any.  The only way to ward off the damage is to face it head on (Letterman).  But Tiger's shame, his painful introversion and the ghost of his father's disappointment has caused him to retreat.  He's not admitted anything, there's been no real contrition and now he's removed himself from the game.  His absence will just fuel the gossip fire.  I'm sure he'll come back, but unlike Kobe, I think the damage to his career, family and game will be irreparable.  

Man, I'm glad I hate golf.

TRADE AD

Wanna thank FX, Fox 21 and 20th for placing this add in all the trades.  Speaks for itself.  Click it for a bigger view.

CLOSING A DEAL, OPENING A DOOR

People read my blog because I often react before I think, resulting in unfiltered opinions about the business of show.  Most of those outbursts are perceived (and sometimes imaginary) injustices levied against me or others.  So I thought it only fair, and perhaps a bit out of character, to offer some praise for a change.

Fame and popularity often trigger fear and greed.  The trades are riddled with stories of creatives on hit shows or successful movies battling for more respect and coin.  Someone trying to out maneuver and out play their peers, bosses or rivals.  It's ugly shit that usually boils down to "my dick is bigger than yours".  Showrunners are no exception.  Forgive the sexist slant on this analogy, but writers historically are treated as if they have the smallest penises in town.  We are constantly seeking out means by which to grow our junk.  And what makes our dicks big and hard?  Yeah, money.  I know that sounds base and shallow, but it's true.  Money is the equalizer.  It's the only measure of respect that means anything in Hollywood.  And I know this will sound like bullshit, but it's not about the material payoff, it's about being valued.  We need to be acknowledged as an important part of the creative process.  We create the world that production builds, we tell the story that the director shoots, we hear the words that the actor says.   

A couple of months ago, I got wind that 20th (the mother ship of Fox 21 our co-studio) had no interest in investing in my future.  In other words, they were not going to offer me a sweet overall deal because they saw no long-term value in SutterInk.  And honestly, can you blame them?  I've been very outspoken about how I could never be dropped into someone else's playground and share the ball.  So an overall that allows them to place me on any show, didn't make sense.  And after a couple hostile work environment claims and the whole D-girl debacle, c'mon, I'm lucky Rupe didn't put a hit out on me.  So, needless to say I was expecting a very contentious deal making scenario.  

That didn't happen.  FX Networks and FX Productions (the other co-studio) stepped up to the plate and without disclosing details, began negotiations in a spirit of trust and respect.  Below is part of the email I sent to Landgraf and his executives.  It pretty much sums up my feelings -- 

i want to officially document my thanks and gratitude for the unprecedented way you have conducted yourselves in this negotiating process... it’s one thing to say that you’re a network that supports and nourishes artists but it’s another to back that up with the only true measure of respect creatives have in this town -- cash.  ... the fair and generous deal you’ve made with me fuels my continuing dedication to soa and FX.  your actions speak volumes to your trust in me and that goes a very long way.

I don't know anything about their strategy or their deals with anyone else, but with me and Sons of Anarchy, FX has shown their trust, loyalty and support in my talent.  I thank them and I look forward to season three and beyond.

AND THE WINNERS ARE...

From SUTTERINK Blog

(screen names)

mepsipax

Poppa_Choppa

Gail

Spooky Lil Girl

leadsled70

From FACEBOOK

(screen names) 

Bernard Kennedy

Danielle Ippolito

Marc Kuechle

Richard Lazzara

Sarah Overman

Seth Chenard

Tonya Farabee

Sue Gabel

Rebecca Lyn Engs

Noelia Fernandez

From TWITTER

(nicknames)

sugarplum

NotoriousJMG 

tat2loser 

c0rpsebunny 

NightRiderAZ  

rosclark7
PyroPoet 

DamonMartin

FudgeDiva

Cali430

I will give folks a few days to send me their info, if I don't hear from them by Friday, I'll choose another.  I won't be able to get the swag out till after 12/11, so please be patient.  

Making it simple to send me your info.  Just email me your name and mailing address at freeshit@sutterink.com

And if you didn't win, which of course most of you did not, you still get the gift of me... on SutterInk Blog, Facebook and Twitter.  Ah yes, I can hear the choruses of "Go fuck yourself writer-man!!" echoing throughout the middle 48.

God bless your mess.

SWAGILICIOUS

Sons of Anarchy fans have truly blown me away this season.  You folks are smart, insightful and absolutely insane.  My kinda folks.  So tonight, after the finale, regardless of how many fucking Twitter followers I have, I will be giving away swag.  Five winners from my blog followers, ten from Facebook and ten from Twitter.  And so I can't be accused of playing favorites and just picking hot chicks and critics (in Mo Ryan's case that's the same thing), I will pick random numbers and count them off the list of followers.

I will post the winners here on my blog and upload the link to Twitter and Facebook. 

I've got minimal swag at my office (it's pathetic, I gotta like blow people for fucking T-shirts) so the gifts will mostly be signed scripts, perhaps a couple of shirts and SOA season one DVDs.  

PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION UNLESS I PICK YOUR NAME TONIGHT.  I LOVE YOU, BUT I DON'T NEED TO KNOW WHERE YOU ALL LIVE...

If I DO pick you:

- from my blog, post a comment with your name and mailing address (obviously I will not post it). 

- from Facebook or Twitter send me a direct message with the info.

I hope you dig the finale.  I'm very proud of it.  It's one thing to write for my cast, but to be able to work with them as actors and direct is such a fucking joy.  I learn so much from my cast and crew. 

Anyway... enjoy "The Troubles".